one hundred trillion synapse man

"one hundred trillion synapse man"

better faster stronger

this structure will endure

but not as it has endured

as I have never stood still

this repository contains

experiences and protein sequences

fit for a life, fit for a deluge

of stimuli and images

I am a vessel

there is no flesh and blood

there is no hair and sweat

there is only an impeccable order

descending through the generations

descending through matter in the limbs of my body

minute insights concealed in my membranes

subtly spawned genetically or environmentally

these handed-down tendencies essentially

compose a parade of uncertain moments

passing insubstantially

judge me by my activity

coursing through my neurons

the chemicals concocting my pride

the pathways diverting my anger

a streaming tide of unknown reaction

flowing without pause

expanding the caverns beneath the surface of my thoughts

I may not have a direction

I have a cause and I have a reason

dismember my love

find the anxiety which provokes it

you will notice the tension

your birthright and mine

there is a crack and a schism

never relinquish that

that is life itself



- Alex Abbott

The Poem Not Written

The Poem Not Written


I once tried to write a modern poem.

It was well struck –

Plucked like the string of a harp.

Dammit, that's one old object.

If you harp on my diction,

My words will metastasize.

A modern poem should mesmerize -

A quick hit to the gut,

An ephemeral sensation.

Ephemeral sounds old, too:

The humor is there

In the strangeness of our times,

That time’s very passage

Should fall behind the prevailing tides.

My words are lusty, light, and quick -

And it’s the style to speak before I think,

And style must go before I think.

psychoanalysis

"psychoanalysis"


present an issue clearly and concisely

get a new perspective

probably just a lunatic

maybe that means trouble for me

a more interesting connection there

short and to the point

reject everything up to this point

can I give a more spirited defense

a certain product of history

a critical eye to the reasons you believe

very illuminating

stay on board

standing alone

on a metaphysical plane

closer to the real world

a better idea for life

actual life-happenings

because it’s easy and simple

so much more than that

take it and expand it

so many aspects of life

very abstract principles

life is like a box of chocolates

come to terms with reality

become silent and face our own existence

what if I were one of these thinkers?

in what way would I have responded?

culturally ingrained in us

we have to understand why

reactions and responses

something very different than what I was exposed to

unusual

it goes back farther than that

I was shocked

I’ve got thick skin

you’ve got to be able to dish it out as well as take it

now it sounds like bullshit

real convincing

don’t start throwing things at me

it’s got its good and bad things

the nuts and bolts

probably my fault

a springboard to rant

time-bound

focused on a specific period and a specific grievance

very frenzied

stops and starts

a double value...a figure paradoxical

"a double value...a figure paradoxical"


kneeling

suffering

revolting against what's happening

grab the truth in that moment

can't verbalize it

different views

desire to come to the truth

a bold undertaking

forever and as of this morning it hasn't been resolved

you can't grasp otherwise

unveil a secret to something that you can't have

can't explicate it in words

make preparations

the teacher says my appointed time is near

truly I tell you one of you will betray me

you have said so

this is my body

poured out for many

fruit of the vine

drink anew

bring into the present

with his right hand

hands have to be washed

there's so much here

a whole process

raising the body above the earth

holy and pure

let me just interrupt you

going to be assaulted

my appointed time is near

not a regular guy

heavens opened up

you've experienced the future

touched eternity

part of a greater drama

at the same time

that resignation

belongs to a higher truth

a new truth

I'm just coming up with this now

puzzling

all these conflicting forces

gestures lead the eye

we have a new truth in the universe

the whole world is coming into that truth

let's go onto the next

when you come into it

it overwhelms you

we look at it as outsiders

give me an insight

you said absolutely nothing right now

no deeper meaning

you have your tension but it's not fulfilled yet

coming close but not quite touching

the truth versus the betrayal

a love-hate relationship

what do they have in common?

participating in a drama which is going to give God to mankind

two wires just about to touch and set off a spark but they don't

that's as far as I can see in this

an illusion retained in shadow as to a moment unborn

"an illusion retained in shadow as to a moment unborn"


despair and hope

always together

blood and new life

this side is lighter and that side is darker

participate in the passion

co-existence of despair and hope

blood, death, and life

open to redemption

darkness into light

death passes into resurrection

despair comes into hope

it is now real

the end of darkness is not darkness

you have life after death

this is what I think

heaven is already present

a single truth

between life and death

articulated in different dramas

it's the same truth

collapse into it

it's already happening right now

it's even stronger

this is it

everything's pushed towards you

you are encountering this and becoming part of it

absorbing those who look upon it


* This is another found spoken word poem, which I have composed this time courtesy of Professor Gershon Greenberg and his Meaning and Purpose in the Arts class, from lecture and discussions of April 14, 2011. The same other stipulations which I mentioned as a footnote to my last found spoken word poem apply here.

** The title of this poem is an excerpted sentence fragment from Leo Steinberg's essay of artistic criticism about Leonardo's Last Supper, "The Seven Functions of the Hands of Christ".

Dear Editor

"Dear Editor"


So you’d like to personally invite,

With dull generic forms that lack insight,

Yours truly to watch revealed beauty

Derived by editorial duty.

Your magazine, loaded with amazing

Works you selected – although encasing

The realms of ideal form – excludes poor me.

So you’d love me to attend your party,

To affirm your submitters’ work – indeed! –

As your lifeblood; though mine, you did not need.

Since I’m skeptical that you can’t respire

Without my poems, which you don’t admire,

I somehow lack the pretense required

To believe my presence is desired.

long story short

"long story short"


binary of two forces

one force in opposition to another

a multitude of different oppositions

understand the power dynamic

just about anything

share those resources

a cultural bias at work

asserting itself

totalizing itself

homogenized to look this way

differences are papered over

giving the face of something that should be feared

looking at that lens at work

close the borders

try to alleviate

suffering from the disease

as the other or as the same

determine the motivations

lack of education

this is why we help

the notion is transformed

remains in place

establishing what it meant

distinguished itself

define ourselves

a region of the world

imagine one that would not do what he opposes

interconnected as it is

sovereign within its own sphere

we have some kind of obligation

we are going to make judgments

the paradigm through which we think

considered itself the center of the world

there is no homogenous, totalizing group

there is some truth in this

you need to just get used to it

you are born in a world and you can accept it or change it

language is elastic

accidents

mistakes

not the end-all, be-all

the body of work

a major weakness

a system that allows them to come about in a fast manner

you are involved in the process

I am still making decisions

as a matter of form

at some point you have to evaluate me

I think that’s where I’m going

I hope we are able to tie up our loose ends

humor me

pretend you’ve learned something useful



* This is a found spoken word poem which I have composed, courtesy of Professor Shanaysha Sauls of American University and her Contemporary Political Thought class, and reinterpreted from the lecture and discussions in class on April 7th, 2011. The words and sentence fragments themselves, as far as I am able to record them, are accurate and in chronological order, although I have heavily excerpted and fragmented them for poetic quality and themes.

** I would prefer to present the text of this poem in a format which is center-aligned, but I am not sure if this is possible in Blogger.

Affirmation

"Affirmation"


It’s a slap in the face to see what blooms

When a cold snap rustles against my cheek.

Harsh winds resent my gumption which presumes

That Spring’s in the world; as the love I seek

Is yet still-born as it is unfolding,

This new life bears witness to a shiver.

As I endure callous Nature’s scolding,

The chill recedes as I redeliver

A verdict upon blustery despair.

My vision swells, sense reawakening

The thankfulness that I will persevere

Among this resilient, budding, pulsing,

Lively, joyous struggle: all-consuming,

Never ending—always overcoming.

Another New Poem: sacrament

"sacrament"

breaking this body

I've dared to share

all vulnerabilities align

far better possibilities

allow chance

to overcome paralyzing insecurity

overwhelming my body

crying out for acceptance

expecting honesty

the highest form of intimacy

destroying the exterior

pulses of sensation

never feeling but merely felt

dejected ignored desperations

signify the only solution

beginning when you embrace

each mangled tinge of doubt

this in the remembrance of me