one hundred trillion synapse man

"one hundred trillion synapse man"

better faster stronger

this structure will endure

but not as it has endured

as I have never stood still

this repository contains

experiences and protein sequences

fit for a life, fit for a deluge

of stimuli and images

I am a vessel

there is no flesh and blood

there is no hair and sweat

there is only an impeccable order

descending through the generations

descending through matter in the limbs of my body

minute insights concealed in my membranes

subtly spawned genetically or environmentally

these handed-down tendencies essentially

compose a parade of uncertain moments

passing insubstantially

judge me by my activity

coursing through my neurons

the chemicals concocting my pride

the pathways diverting my anger

a streaming tide of unknown reaction

flowing without pause

expanding the caverns beneath the surface of my thoughts

I may not have a direction

I have a cause and I have a reason

dismember my love

find the anxiety which provokes it

you will notice the tension

your birthright and mine

there is a crack and a schism

never relinquish that

that is life itself



- Alex Abbott

See's Candies

My friend S. says that our room looks like California in the early evenings.

My college roommate is from California. "No Cal" as he jokingly refers to Northern California.

Sometime ago, (as many college students do), he received a care package from home. It contained a variety of snacks and other edible goodies.

One of the items which he received was a small rectangular box of See's Candies. I'd never sampled See's Candies before, but the name resonated in the corners of my mind.

I used to listen religously to a jazz music program ("Riverwalk jazz, live from the landing) on public radio that was sponsored by "See's Old Time Candies". I remembered the name of the sponsor because it seemed so quaint and unusual -- almost like something to which Garrison Keillor would compose a satiric ode as an inspirational sales pitch. So it was a bit of a shock to sample the real thing.

I am writing this entry at the same time I used to listen to Riverwalk jazz -- the hour of ten o'clock in the evenings on Saturday nights. It seemed like an unusually late hour around the age of twelve when I started listening to Riverwalk. I almost never missed an episode until I was fifteen and I discovered Saturday Night Live. (Shame on you, Lorne Michaels -- it's not even that good of a show anymore; it wasn't good then, either.)

It's intriguing to think about the past, to delve into our previous experiences. Just one simple token can remind us all of a whirl of old emotions, experiences, and memories.

To paraphrase Forrest Gump's infamous conclusion:

"Life: sometimes I remember it by a box of chocolates."